After writing the last entry, I put my laptop away and as I was walking back to my bed, saw another cockroach come walking out from under the bed. Well. I spent some time corralling it back to behind my wardrobe before heading to bed (to uneasy sleep with odd and unsettling bug dreams for the few hours before I had to get up for class). Anyway, the whole situation started me thinking.
I was thinking about why I have such an aversion to cockroaches in my room. I can see why some people think such a query is ridiculous. But really, I disallow spiders and mosquitoes because I don’t like waking up with bites—and spider bites range from benign bumps to who-knows-what. I evict moths and silverfish because they eat holes in my clothes and sheets. But what harm do cockroaches cause me? Stick with me here. It may just be my ignorance, but I think the only reason I don’t want them in my room is because I am disgusted by their very presence. Perhaps there is a legitimate reason, but as far as I am aware, it is solely a psychological one.
Earlier this week one of my new friends and I were talking about the conflict in this region between the people groups who want to live in the land, and how the opposing sides do not view each other as humans with the same struggles, needs, desires, fears, and so on. And that is where the problem germinates. My desire to not cohabitate with the new tenants in my room struck a chord in me.
I expressed the analogy to my friend the next day, and while she could follow the idea I was expressing, she could not make the parallel quite fit because, “Yes, but they are cockroaches, not human beings!” I think the same might be said by people on either side of the middle east conflict about those they view as their enemies. She, along with my roommate, classmate, and another friend, were all astonished that I had not killed the roaches. I squirm at the idea of it (I’ve never been one for stepping on anything that I will feel or hear crushed.) However, somehow I don’t feel nearly as bothered at the idea of spraying/smoking them out. Less personal, you know. See the same parallel? I’d much rather send a missal thousands of miles away to exterminate some pests than see the smear right there at my feet.
One friend talking about insects and the like said something to the effect of, “I don’t mind them out there, but if they come into my apartment, they’re smears.” I thought it was interesting because before my predecessors came to this mountain, it was all trees, rocks, bugs, you know, a forest. And they presumably came in, conquered the land, did their best to evict the residents (afore mentioned bugs included), and built a campus. I am glad they did, and I like living here. And I don’t want cockroaches in my room. But can I say that I was here first, or that I have more of a right to be here than they? I think it’s interesting that I “allow” some bugs in and “remove” others. I clearly see myself as somewhat in charge. Although some I don’t want still get in, and can escape my observation or elude capture, I am the boss. I decide who stays and who goes. And who is relocated versus who is simply eliminated.
I also think it is interesting that I originally wanted to say that a second roach “crawled” out from under my bed. I thought about it and concluded that it—or he?—was probably not crawling. He was probably walking. It’s just that his walking is low to the ground, like my crawling. And crawling is creepy. We don’t say our pets crawl, since we like them. But we say bugs crawl because they’re yucky. And we call them “it” because it’s a good distancing technique. No anthropomorphizing here. Make sure to emphasize difference and strip the objects of all linguistically attributed ‘normalcy’ or humanity. This is all well and good when we’re talking about literal cockroaches (although I’m not sure my vegan roommate from the states would agree). But we’ve seen the destruction that comes when the same language—just language!—is used about one group of humans or another. In Washington DC there is an exhibit right now called “Propaganda”. It is a good one and I highly recommend it to anyone that can get there (admission is free and you can park over by the tidal basin).
So. It all begins in the mind, is further developed with language choices that reinforce mental conception, and gives birth to action. How can the first conception be altered? How could I convince my friend, so abhorrent of roaches, to “live and let live” with them? Perhaps not only to tolerate, but respect? Seek to understand where the cockroach is coming from? By the way, this friend is smart, educated, is pursuing a degree in the Study of the Middle East, and she takes what seems to me to be a balanced bias on both sides over here (She studied Arabic in another country and then came here to learn Hebrew so she could hear the perspective from both sides of the coin, as it were). But she cannot abide the idea of living with literal cockroaches. And she seems to have a hard time agreeing with me that it is basically the same situation. I see the difference between the middle east conflict and my little apartment conflict, of course, but I see a lot of parallels as well.
All this from a living being smaller than a dollar bill. Er, 20-shekel bill, rather.
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